Before I had my surgery, I tried to imagine myself skinny (or even healthy). What I came up with is nothing like what I am currently. I wondered what I would notice. Would my knees look weird? Would my feet lose weight? What would my "assets" do? I just couldn't imagine any of that, and thought that I would be the only person ever that this surgery didn't work for. However, I am pleased to say that is nowhere near the case. Am I down to goal weight yet? No. Am I closer than I've ever been? Am I happy with my results? Yes and yes.
I have to remember sometimes that I started out at a weight much higher than some people. Losing 100 pounds won't make me skinny, it'll just make me less fat and more healthy. I'll say it again; I wish I would have done this when I was 18. I look down at my wrists and get this weird trippy feeling because they actually look cute and small. I can't wear any of my rings (even James Avery) because my fingers are so much more slender. I can squeeze through a crowd with relative ease because my hips and butt are so much smaller. I still have quite a bit of work ahead of me, but I'm so much closer than I've ever been before.
It's hard to always see the weight loss. I see myself everyday. I mean, my clothes fit better (or not at all in some cases), but I see myself without clothes. That part is not cute. Let me assure you. No one should have skin like mine so young. I hope to one day have the plastic surgery to "fix" what has now been fixed with the weight loss. That means I have to get down to my acceptable weight and maintain that for a bit, but it will happen in due time.
Now onto more exciting things. I have been going to the gym almost every day most of this year. I can't believe how dedicated I now am. I go on Saturdays and Sundays. I go after school. I am actually... looking... forward... to going. Who am I?! I am learning about a whole new me. Learning to eat well and treat my body well. I have truly changed my life. However, it has been a major learning curve.
Not this weigh in, but the last one I had plateaued. I wasn't eating as well as I should have been and I paid the price as it were. I easily slipped back into old habits. I ate what I wanted in tiny portions, but it eventually made a difference. It was a much needed wake up call. I redoubled my efforts, started the gym, paid more attention to planning my meals, saving my calories, eating all of my protein (including shakes), etc. I am happy I plateaued so that it made me pay attention again to what was important. It made me focus. It gave me determination. It sucked, but it was the push I needed; so it was worth it.