Womp womp.

After spending alllll of Thanksgiving NOT eating, and after watching everyone else eat the yummy snacks and s'mores at our Advent Celebration last night, I'm not having surgery. Yes, it sucks, but it's not the end of the world. I proved to myself my commitment and how strong I can be. I showed anyone who has any doubts how much I want this. I also learned how to better prepare for January. I thought I was prepared this time, but next time I will REALLY be ready!

I will freeze what soup I have left over for after the surgery. I will still practice not drinking 30 minutes before or after my meals. I will be even better next time!

I am not discouraged because I now know that I CAN and WILL do this! I learned valuable self-control and self-denial lessons. And, most importantly, I didn't cheat even ONCE! Go me!!!

Recap of the famine of the last 6 days. Wednesday sucked. I wanted to eat anything and everything I could get my hands on, but I didn't. Thursday wasn't too good because it was Thanksgiving, I was cranky, and I wanted to eat my weight in pumpkin pie; but I didn't. Friday through Sunday were fairly easy. I got headaches from low blood sugar, but quickly learned how to even all of that out by being on a schedule. Being conscious of exactly when I ate made this whole thing so much easier! Now, it wasn't easy, but my "meal" awareness made life less miserable.

I'm still excited and waaaaaay less nervous about the surgery because of this liquid diet. I bet my liver is SUPER tiny!! Ha! Surgery is scheduled for January 15 as of now. Until then I will eat appropriate portions, continue to split meals with Dad, be purposeful in meal planning, and watching when I drink.

P.S. We ate Spring Creek tonight (split a plate) and it was the most divine food I have ever put in my mouth! Delish!!

And that's life... Take the curve balls and knock them out of the park!!

Shrink That Liver

This week's game is called Shrink That Liver!! I will win by drinking only liquids- soups, water, and yogurt- for a week!

Wednesday: I think there's something wrong with me. I woke up excited. Excited. "To what?", you ask. To be on a liquid diet. I know it's weird, but I'm ready for everything! We've spent the last two days making 5 different homemade soups!! I have enough protein and am stoked! 

That was, until about 11:30 when I got a call saying that the surgery might be postponed because they didn't think I would get authorization in time. Ugh. My options were to be on the liquid diet and hope I get approved for next Wednesday, or "enjoy" the holidays and have surgery in January. Well I can't enjoy the holidays because I am ready to lose some serious weight!! So I have chosen to have a little blind faith and be on the liquid diet and pray that I will have surgery next Wednesday after all. 

/Rant/ Why are they waiting until this week to get authorization?! Why did they tell me Friday that I am missing some 3 key pieces of paperwork? I don't get it and it makes me mad, but I'm going to deal with it and do what I can. /End Rant/

You might be wondering why I need to shrink my liver. I had the same question, and the answer is that your liver is on top of your stomach. To reach the stomach (lapriscopically) they must be able to see it under the liver. Therefore, I have to shrink my liver so my stomach is easier to see. I can see it just fine, but apparently the doctors might have trouble... Haha! If the liver isn't shrunk, they will either NOT operate or open me up. So... SHRINK THAT LIVER!!

Thursday: Today was Thanksgiving and I sat at the table while people around me ate. I did pretty well once I had started eating for the day. I think I'm hypoglycemic; I get extremely grouchy and downright mean when I'm hungry. I drank lots of water and wish I could have eaten everything on the table in mass quantities. But, I didn't cheat once. Go me!! Dad was strong throughout the whole day and didn't eat anything we weren't allowed to either. We rock!

My relationship with food took a backseat to my will  to be healthy today. I don't think it likes that very much. Some of my hunger was pure, raw hunger, but I'm sure some was head hunger. I am learning to tell myself no, a trait I have down with everything but food. I deny myself many things, but food is not one of them. Now I will deny myself what I do not need. Next year's Thanksgiving I will look awesome and will eat everything in small, tiny portions!! Yay!

We are practicing not drinking 30 minutes before and after meals. This is hard for me, but I am doing my best. I literally time myself so that I wait the 30 minutes after, but before is more of a guesstimation. It's hard, but worth it.

Two of the soups I made taste less than delicious. One had far too much garlic and the other tasted very plain. However, the lentil soup I made looks gross, but is pretty good! It tastes like pureed black eyed peas; with a little salt it wasn't so bad!

I am about to devour a shake and my Thanksgiving is complete!

Oh, I am thankful for my supportive family and friends and all that I have learned in the last year.

And that's life...

So... Weight loss.

First things first: my awesome new leg done by the fabulous Lane Farr!!

 
I have taken a hiatus from blogging because people chose to believe they knew me and what I do based solely on my blog (or Facebook). I assure you this is not the case. However, as I am about to change my whole life, again, so I have chosen to write some more.

I have thought about weight loss surgery since I graduated high school (back in 2007). I've always been a little bit afraid to do it because it's irreversible and a completely different way to live my life: without food as my comfort. I'm not going to lie, I love to eat. Unfortunately, food loves me a little too much and it's finally time for me to ditch the clingy ball and chain and find freedom in a life not ruled by food. I have done three dietician visits, one psychological evaluation, one sleep study, and one support meeting and I feel like I am ready. On November 27, 3 days after my first ampuversay, I will start a liquid diet. Yes, I'm aware I will be eating soup at Thanksgiving, but food has run my life for far too long! I put my foot down!! Ha! Get it? I will be on said diet for a week and December 4th I will have the gastric sleeve performed. I will be on the liquid diet for another 2 weeks, then soft foods, then slowly add regular foods back into my diet.

I have chosen the gastric sleeve because the lap band seems like it will not allow me to lose enough weight and the bypass has repercussions such as not being able to absorb nutrients. Since I'm only 25, yes I said ONLY, and I might want to have kids one day, I chose the safest route to lose weight with the sleeve. Babies are statistically smaller and sometimes have more problems when a mother who has had the bypass done gives birth.

I am both excited and nervous about this whole operation (see what I did there?). However, I'm more excited than scared. This time next year I will look awesome!! I will post pictures, honest accounts of what I feel like, my real struggle with food, and update you on how I handle stuff... Get ready! Please feel free to ask questions; I will answer them with my honest opinion and what facts I have.

I am truly blessed because my family will be doing the liquid diet with me and also a few friends will be starting this journey with me. Pretty cool, right? I can tell you what some of my biggest problems will be right now- not drinking water 30 minutes before, during, or 30 minutes after a meal. I will have to leave my water bottle in another room so that I am not tempted. Getting all my protein in for the day will also be a challenge since I need like 80 grams a day. What will NOT be a problem is drinking my 64 ounces of water a day; easy peasy!

I'm sure there was more I wanted to say, but my head is full of lots of stuff right now. I'll keep you posted!!

In case you missed my amazing Halloween costume, I'll post it here again! Yeah, I went there. Hahahaha!

And that's life...

Healthy Shopping

I went "healthy" shopping this past weekend. I started at Sam's, because we were already going there, and boy is healthy shopping HARD!!! Ugh. Everything has too much of something. It was also not cheap. I was NOT impressed with spending so much money to be healthy. 

We also went protein shopping. Another sad experience. I have guidelines to follow and a LOT of the "healthy" proteins do not have enough protein, have too many carbs, and have too many calories. Interesting that they can market a "breakfast" drink as a meal when it has 8 grams of protein. I ended up getting a few to try- I like the Muscle Milk the most right now. It's quick and easy; no mixing. 

I'm working on cutting my portions down and eating more fruits and veggies. I already drink like a ridiculous amount of water (no soda) and am working on walking as much as possible. 

Medical update: I got in the pool with my leg to work on some strengthening and balance. It was fun!! I'm am trying to wear my brace 3 times a day for 30 minutes each. That's not exactly working, but I'm doing it AT LEAST once a day, which is more than I was! I can already see and feel a difference!!! Yay! I'm taking my wheelchair fewer and fewer places, but I still need it for "long" distances. I'm still loving working with my youth (who constantly push me to be better) and am going to a conference in a few weeks. My PT is thinking about dismissing me from services- because I'm awesome- unless I get an ankle. I started playing Guild Wars 2 with my dad and am loving it!! Like we need more things to bond over... Haha! I'm still learning a new normal every day. I'm starting to figure out what I can do and how to quickly put on my leg, what feels ok, how to fix things, and all the things I can still do. I can't complain about my life, I'm still happy I have one. I can't believe it's been almost a year since my accident and how far I've truly come. I selfishly like people that haven't seen me in a long time see me walk or climb stairs. Haha! 

Enjoy some random pictures!! 

VBS

So I had VBS last week!! I had a blast with my kids and taking pictures. The little children asked me about my leg and this is what I said, "I was in a car wreck and they had to cut off my leg; but, it's ok because I got this awesome NEW leg that has zebra and sparkles on it!" I think it went well. One mol told me her daughter wants a leg like mine. Haha! 

On Sunday I visited a different church with a friend. I took Sister to see if she might like it- we will see. The couple took us to lunch and I got to see a friend from mission trip! Yay!! Overall it was a GREAT week! 

Last night I had Youth, we went bowling- fun! I think the kids enjoyed it. We were going to play mini golf, but it rained ALL day. Yes, I drove in it. Tthen I had a sleep study- not fun. I slept with all sorts of wires on me. This, plus the results, is my final step before I can go in for my weight loss surgery. 

Today I had PT. I had a real and honest conversation about my arm with my brace guy and will do everything I can to wear my brace everyday! If it kills me... 

I think I'm going to change my blog focus to weight loss. I will be honest and deep. I'll continue to update you on my recovery, although it's fairly complete. Ha! So my next post will be shifted more towards that. 

And that's life... 

Weekend fun!

Friday we ran some errands. Dad and I, waiting on Mom and the tax office compared our arms. I got ripped off in the gene pool of skin color... Seriously. We ate at Wagon Wheel BBQ. I had a stuffed baked potato. It was delicious! I wasn't so impressed with the potato salad, though. I guess you can't have everything...  That night Sister and I, along with my BFF and a few other friends, went to a drive in!! Yay! We had to drive waaaaaay out in the middle of nowhere, but it was worth it. We saw Despicable Me 2 and Monsters University. They were so cute! I loved the first one of both of these movies and the second one did not let me down. 

Saturday I had lunch with Sister and a friend. On the way there, I pumped my own gas for the FIRST time since last August! After a sub-par meal, we went to see The Purge. It was scary in a psychological I-can-totally-see-this-happening way. I usually don't watch scary movies because I HATE being scared, but this wasn't so bad. I hung out with Sister for a bit, then went home. 

Sunday I enjoyed some father-daughter-bonding then Mom made lunch, steak, for us. Yum! Next, I went to Youth. It was Sundae Sunday and we enjoyed watching most of the movie I rented. Unfortunately, it was scratched, so we spent the rest of the time playing in the gym. I love hanging out with my kids!! When I got home, I contacted Redbox and they credited me 2 movies. I thought that was awesome! Anyways, when I got home, we watched some Next Food Network Star, ate dinner, and went to bed. 

VBS is this week and I am SO excited!!! I love this time of year. I will be taking pictures and checking on my youth. Yay! I was worried at some point I wouldn't be able to go to VBS, but I clearly will! Updates to follow. 

And that's life... 

Weekday activities!

This week has been fairly low key. 

Monday I went to PT. She made me work hard, like she always does. I had to walk on an incline of grass up and down one way, and then back the other way. Whew! We watched a little bit of TV and Mom and Dad worked on the pool once we got home. 

Tuesday I went with my friend to Oklahoma City. She was going to drive up, visit a mission team, and drive back all by herself. I offered to go with her because that is a BORING drive. So we road tripped! We brought my chair (just in case), but I didn't use it. I walked in the gas station, at the worksite, and to switch cars. Yeah, I'm a little impressed, too! After the road trip, I went back home. 

Wednesday I went to PT again. Again, she made me work hard. And sweat. I do not enjoy sweating... I don't care how "good for you" it is. I did good work, tho. I tried to talk mom and dad into a drive in movie, but they weren't having it. So we want home and I played some Guild Wars 2 (yes, I'm a nerd), and went to bed. 

Thursday was the 4th of July. I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Independence Day!! I did! I went to my friend's (the same one I went to Oklahoma with) housewarming party. It was a cute little house, with cute little children, and cute little foods. I loved it!! I walked into, around, and out of her house as well. I got to talk to a few friends and really enjoyed myself! 

Next was on to the fireworks! I conned Dad into going with me to get some fireworks, which he did. By the way, those things are EXPENSIVE!! Oh my gosh! Anyways, I got them and headed to another friends' parent's house. It was out in the middle of NOWHERE, but the whole neighborhood seemed to be doing fireworks, so we were surrounded. At some point there was a fire about 3 miles off (yes we could see it- I said middle of nowhere...). It was pretty bad, but once the fire department got there, they put it out pretty quick. I'm sure that the 4th of July is their least favorite holiday... We shot our fireworks, ate s'mores, hung out with my friends and Sister, and watched the neighborhood fireworks. Success!! It was awesome! 

I hope your week has been as fabulous as mine has been! 

And that's life...

Weekend

On Friday sister, her boyfriend, Dad, and I went to the Rangers game! It was very hot and very fun!! We won, which always makes the game better. Ha! We ate ballpark food, had Lemon Chills, and giggled. It was fabulous! 

Saturday I visited with my dear friend and her daughter. Then headed off to lunch with a fellow youth director. We ate at Chuy's- I had a salad- and talked about youth stuff and life. It was really fun!! 

I went to Dallas with Sister and some of her friends. We laughed and talked and had a grand time! I really enjoyed myself. I walked a little for my friend and loved hanging out with new people!! 

My youth talked about their mission trip experiences in the morning. For youth I had planned to move all of the tools back to where they go, but it had been done during the morning. So, we played games until game night which started after youth. I had so much fun!! 

I had a wonderful and fun-filled weekend and loved hanging out with so many people! Like I've said before, I'm getting back to a new normal!! 

And that's life...