200th Post- the struggle is real.

First, this is my 200th post!! Who knew? Crazy how far I've come in such a relatively short amount of time.

I would be lying if I said today was easy. Mom cooked in the house for the first time. I know they have to eat, but I wish it didn't smell SO good!!!! I'm already dying from the cloyingly, sickeningly sweet protein shakes that I am drinking, then she goes and makes sausage. I had a mini-breakdown. I kept trying to remind myself that bigger goals are just out of reach if I can just hang on. While we're on this, the saying, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," means nothing to fat people. I have never been skinny, so I don't know how that feels. Duh.

Anyhow, my friend, who has had the lap-band and done fabulously, wrote the most beautiful thing on my Facebook. It perfectly captures how I feel and I kept reminding myself of these things while trying not eat all the sausage!!
"This will be one of the hardest, but most rewarding journeys of your life. There will be days in the beginning that you will wonder what you were thinking. There will be a day when you can taste a protein shake without ever putting it up to your lips and it'll make your stomach churn. There will be trials with the new foods you'll learn to tolerate and possibly even like. There will be days that you will mourn your loss of food.
But then... There will be days that you will be able to run and play and still feel like a million dollars. There will be healthy babies, playing on the floor with them, riding roller coasters, and watching them grow into adults without having to worry about your high blood pressure, arthritis and diabetes taking your life first. There will a beautiful wedding gown that you have a choice of instead of the one they had in your size. There will be sitting in booths at your favorite restaurant, being able to tie your shoes, and sitting comfortably on a plane. There will be less doctor visits, less medicine, less pain and better health. There will be a new way that people treat you. There will be shopping for clothes because it's fun to try the latest styles. There will be a day when you eat to live instead of living to eat, and food becomes secondary to all the joys in your life.
In short, there will be a new adventure for you, one where YOU are the participant and not just the spectator. Take it by the horns! Enjoy the ride, even when it's rough, I promise- it'll be worth it in the end!"

For those of you on the edge of your seats (and probably now crying), I did NOT eat any sausage. I drank my water and then another shake for dinner. BAM!

Jenny:1                                 Fat:0

Sucker.

And that's life...