Thursday, April 25, 2013


I spent all day Wednesday subbing in lockdown. It was just me and 1 student. She was good all day, but I was exhausted by the end of it. I mostly read and redirected the whole day. Pretty awesome!

After subbing, Dad came and got me for PT. I didn't walk as much because I was sore- over 500 feet after almost 9 months of NO walking is a LOT!! Totally worth it. I did some standing exercises and the arm bike. I did walk a little, but not as much as Tuesday. It was great! They kept talking about my gait (how I walk) and that I have to learn this, that, and the other. I kept reminding them that this was, in fact, day two. Haha!

I fell asleep on the way home which is new to me (because of my anxiety in a car). When we got home, we watched the Rangers and I went to bed early.

I repeated pretty much the same day on Thursday. I was, again, the sub for lockdown. I read another book and redirected. My book was fabulous!!!

After school, Mom and I got water and stopped by home. Then, we went to Sams!!! We needed to pick up some "bulk". I rolled myself the whole time and was quite tired by the time we left.

Not too tired to eat at Mexican Inn with Mom, though. I ordered one of the yummiest brisket burritos I've had!! It was amazing! We went home and went to bed after that.

Dad told me that he was amazed and saddened that I was adapting so well to using my wheelchair with seeming ease. He's glad I'm adapting, but sad that I have to. I have to agree. I used to look down and wonder how was I ever going to adapt and learn how to put on a prosthetic leg EVERY DAY and to walk. But it just happens. I adapt. That's the only option I give myself. I don't allow too much self pity. Occasionally I feel it creeping in, and sometimes I even give into it. Most of the time, I forcefully push it down and remind myself how far I've come and how awesome (not self-congratulatory) I am- or so people say. I also remind myself that it could have been WAY worse and it wasn't.

In the hospital, Mom and Dad used to say how thankful they were I was alive. I always shook this off because the thought, "There are worse things than dying," always came to mind. I thought it might have even been better to not have suffered and not seen my parents suffer for me. Keep in mind, please, that I am in NO way suicidal. It was just always a fleeting thought. The good news is, I no longer feel that way. I feel strong. I feel confident. I feel like my life is finally going where it's supposed to. I feel happy. Who knew that such a tragedy could produce such joy in my life? I guess there really is sunshine after the rain. Thank God for my rainy days so I can enjoy and appreciate the sunshine!!!

Thank you again for reading, praying, thinking, loving, believing, and pushing me. It means everything to me.

And that's life...

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