It's kind of sad when you're in pre-op and people left and right remember and say hi to you. Ha! It's like I'm a celebrity. Surgery today included taking out 1 plate, clearing out the little bit of dead bone (due to the infection), changing the wound vac, and adding an ex-fix; not the ilizarov. I finally psyched myself up for ilizarov, then I don't even get it!! Let me tell you, this one HURTS!!! I feel like my leg is on fire. I have started the pain meds again. I feel like I actually have a broken ankle. I'm all achy and have searing pain in some places. I am not digging this surgery. I feel like I'm never going to heal... I will go back in this weekend for a wound vac change.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret that is not well known. When you're in the hospital and you are limited in mobility, you don't shed your skin like on a normal day. Therefore, when you scratch and such, (not to be nasty) you get all sorts of dried skin under your nails. Ew!! Also, oddly enough, you lose track of time and when you last had a sponge bath. It seems weird, but you do.
I got a great, fun, and entertaining visit today from a friend!! She made me forget all about my feelings of the surgery. I am so thankful that she stopped by (even after going to the wrong hospital first).
Emotionally this is/was a bad day. I feel like every time I take a (metaphorical) step forward, I take 5 back; do not pass "Go", do not collect $200. I just fee like I'm not getting better. I got word today that my doctor is going to fuse my bones after all, when I thought that was taken off the table a looooong time ago. This will limit my mobility in my ankle. This does NOT make me happy. I just want to be normal. I want to walk normally and have a normal life. Instead it looks as if I will probably not limp, but will not have the range I should and will be doing the hospital thing for a while longer. I'm praying for all of my readers; thank you for being so supportive and helpful.