Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day 81

Day 7: I am thankful for my beautiful and amazing sister who is my bestest best friend!! I am so proud of her and who she has become so far and can't wait to see who she will ultimately become. We've been on one crazy journey to get this far and can't wait to see what the future holds for her. I love her with all my heart and want to wish her the happiest birthday so far! <3

I guess I forgot to mention that I moved to a room and am out of the ICU!!

Every time I think this journey is coming to an end and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, something else happens. My doctor told me that after the muscle heals a bit and I'm off all the antibiotics, then we will look at fixing my bones. He said I will have a surgery that takes bone from somewhere like my pelvis to replace the bone that died in my ankle. Then he will fuse what bones he needs to I guess. I am not happy about this. This puts my "being able to walk" schedule even farther behind and puts me back in the hospital after I go home.

I discovered tonight that I get a little jealous of people. In my world, time stopped on August 18th; in everyone else's world, time keeps on moving. People go to work, go on dates, get married, have babies, etc. But I'm stuck here, in this bed, while life passes me by. It's hard and I try not to feel forgotten or jealous, but I really do sometimes. I just feel like I'm frozen in time. I don't really know another way to describe it. I mean mom and dad come see me everyday, and mommy stays with me every night, but I feel forgotten sometimes. I don't want people to go eat and think, "I wonder how Jenae is and what she's having for dinner," but I just feel a little forgotten. I know it's irrational...

 My grandparents got me a fruit, cheese, and cracker basket today!! We enjoyed some of the goodies tonight. They were yummy!! I am thankful for them and their delicious basket!

My basket of yummies!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow because I get my brace!! I got to the edge of the bed TWICE today with my amazing PT. I'm so proud of us! I am working hard to get better.

And that's life...

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