Friday, November 23, 2012

Day 97- Procedure #20

I had so many wonderful visitors today and am so thankful for their love and support.

So today's procedure was simple and easy. Just a quick wound vac change. However, I told both of my doctors my decision. I have decided to have my leg amputated at 7:15 tomorrow (Nov. 24) morning. This is not a decision I made lightly. I weighed all of the pros and cons and have thought out each scenario. I'm going to write a letter to my leg.

Dear Leg,
We've had a good run (get it?), but it's time to let you go. I was hoping to save you, but it just didn't work out. I wanted you to look like the leg I had the morning of August 18th, and that would never be. So instead I will replace you with a prosthetic leg. We had some good times together like playing soccer, those brief stints in athletics and cheer leading, swimming, etc. It took me 24 years to grow you, but will only take an hour and a half or so to take you off (only 15 seconds to injure you). I am thankful for the time we had together, but look to the future with hope. I worked hard to keep you, but it wasn't meant to be. So we will forever be separated tomorrow morning. I will not pretend I won't miss you, but I truly believe my life will be better without you.
Much love,
My leg does not define me. I will still be the me everyone knows when this procedure is over and I am without the lower part of my right leg and foot. It will be a short procedure that should have a quick recovery. I will keep everyone updated on my recovery. From the beginning this was a terrible fracture and amputation was always in the background. Now I never let it be a option, but everything we did kept failing. As these things happen, I allowed myself to think about "the 'A' word". Maybe I needed to go thru all of the failures and be faced with a choice to make peace with the idea. I will not regret this decision, not that I can reverse it amyway. I am proud of me and my life so far, and I am proud of me for making the hard decision that I have made.

And that's life...

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